Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Sun Tzu's Art of War. Bob Dylans Highway 61 Revisited. What do these three great compilations of the human mind, will, and soul have in common? Yes, they all greatly affected the world and cultures we live in. Yes, each has it's own set of devoted followers and die hard critics. And yes, each one of these authors at some point went by the nickname “Al”. However, the point I am trying to drive home is none of these. What ties these three great masterpieces inarguably and undebatable together is the sad fact that I didn't have anything to do with them.
In fact, as I look back on my time spent upon this little ball of dirt spinning around a mid-sized fusion reaction ninety two million, nine hundred fifty five thousand, eight hundred seventeen miles away, I can honestly say I haven't really gotten too much done yet. At least, less than I would have thought. For instance, I really thought I'd have this fantastic post ready for the first day of my new “blog project thingy”. Yet here it is, 1:22 in the morning, and I'm still trying to finish my own introduction. Shit.
Please don't get me wrong. I do not see myself a lazy man, or unsuccessful, or even unlucky. My research is progressing, slowly but steadily, towards a good end. I believe the work I do serves a greater purpose than my own. When I jokingly say after a lunch with friends, “time to get back to work, humanity isn't going to save itself”, a part of me actually believes it. And, upon a recent presentation of some data to my advisor, I saw a look of excitement in his eyes normally reserved for a fresh cup of cappuccino. “This is publishable stuff!” he tells me. “This is the exactly the direction you should be going!” he says. I take his words with me when I walk out of his office. I hold onto it all day, and am so damn proud of myself. I walk back into my office and shout “Eureka, I have earned a burrito!”. The Chinese fellow in my office turns to me and asks why. “Because”, I tell him while assuming a pose like a superhero in a comic, “today, I helped save the world with science.” Soon, I am in my local burrito eatery, and I am savoring my reward. A delicious chicken burrito filled with grilled onions and the hopes and dreams of children of tomorrow. I close my eyes and see the parade of beautiful girls wearing lab coats and large rimmed glasses carrying me through the streets shouting “A genius! Our savior! A keeper of his fellow man!”.
It is at this point, when upon I open my eyes, and I suddenly realize I locked my keys in the car. The next half hour I spend trying to find the phone number for a locksmith who is open on Easter. The next 80 dollars I spend is on that particular locksmith. He is a small man with a beer belly and a white service truck. In about 15 seconds he uses a small hand inflated heavy duty rubber balloon to pry open my passenger side door a crack, and then uses a 4 foot long slightly curved metal rod to reach in and hit the “door unlock” button. His wife, with her white jacket and small rimmed glasses, watches from inside the van. She is proud of him. I watch as they drive the van off into the sunset, and I am left alone.
Reflect with me. What I do is good work, but in all honesty, if I wasn't doing it somebody else would be. I work very hard, but I do not come into this field carrying some savant level mathematics abilities. In fact, if we want to get down and compare grades, you'll find mine are probably somewhere below the average “scientist who gets a parade thrown for him/her” threshold. This doesn't bother me. This is simply the hand I was dealt, and I've played it pretty good thus far. However, I really do have this drive to do something good, something that can be called a “life accomplishment”, something that no one else has done. And you know what? I just checked on google, and nobody has ever published the sentence “Eureka, I have earned a burrito!” to the web. Yet just here, today, I have done it TWICE so far. Here in lies the power of blogging, friends. Herein lies the keys to creation of sentences, perhaps even articles, that had never before existed. Who knows how long the internet, and subsequently all of humanity, would have gone without the phrase “Eureka, I have earned a burrito!” if it was not for my efforts in the field.
This first post was supposed to be my explanation of why I decided to start a blog, something that for years now I have been fundamentally opposed to. Somewhere along that thought train line, I may have have subtly derailed, yet I believe we may have arrived at the station anyway. Ooh, train metaphore! Now my post is not just informative and introductive, it's got a mother freaking train metaphor. Might as well give up all you other Pulitzer Prize wanting authors out there, I've got this year all wrapped up. Fuck, where did I put my keys.
In all seriousness I know that asking the six of you, strangers and friends, to aid me in this particular experiment of writing was one of the best ideas I've had in a long time. A lone blogger has always seemed, in some way, lacking to me. Self fulfilling ego-stroking wordsturbation (not that there is anything wrong with that). But this doesn't quite feel like that. This feels, I don't know. I'm a strange combination of pumped and terrified at the idea that friends and strangers are going to, in short order, be reading what I just wrote.
It is now 3:19 AM where I am. I have read and reread these “first-post” paragraphs, trying to parse it into something worthy of your time. Is it long enough? Is it too long? Should I take myself more seriously? Less? Do I actually have any control over that? *sigh* No, this is probably done. The first post is going up. Maybe just one last “blast-off” checklist with the ol' brain here:
brain: So, first post huh? Turn out good?
me: I... I have no idea. It turned out, that's all that matters I suppose.
brain: Well, that's ok. You haven't written casually like this in years. How about the site, you get the site design worked out?
me: um.. no. It's very red and brown and grey, and it turns out I don't know as much html as I thought. The more I look at it the more I don't like it.
brain: Oh... well the other contributors though, they are all onboard. Everyones pumped and ready to go! One of them might clean up the site, or you can now that you know people are looking at it!
me: yea maybe... I'm not sure I haven't actually even heard back from everyone about the start date yet.
brain: Well, they're all pretty busy. I mean, you picked these people because they were interesting and colorful. Interesting colorful people rarely find themselves bored with nothing to do.
me: I find myself with nothing to do all the time!
brain: *cough cough* oh man, look at the time. You better post this and get to bed.
me: Why is my brain coughing? But I guess you have a point. To be honest with you brain, this is basically exactly how I figured this thing would launch. I guess I wouldn't have it any other way.
brain: So you do feel good about it?
me: Yea brain, I do.
stomach: Hey shut up, would ya! Some of us are trying to get some sleep!
brain: Sorry...
me: oh, yea, sorry.
stomach: Whatever jerks, 729 MONKEY IS GO!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
"A lone blogger has always seemed, in some way, lacking to me. Self fulfilling ego-stroking wordsturbation (not that there is anything wrong with that). But this doesn't quite feel like that. This feels, I don't know. I'm a strange combination of pumped and terrified at the idea that friends and strangers are going to, in short order, be reading what I just wrote."
ReplyDeleteI must say, I am pretty excited too. It will be interesting to see what comes up. I'll try to really give some thought into alternative designs. Good first post btw. It takes guts to go first. I sure as hell didn't want to. =)