Today I shall share with you my recipe for Bunny D's Black Hole Coffee, a drink so dark and massive (in flavor) that after crossing the event horizon (sipping it) you will never be able to escape it's entanglement. Oh sure, you'll go on living your life in seeming normality. You'll probably even manage to walk away from the cup. And yet, you will have been changed. Your friends and family will say you are somehow different... something different. So head my warning, and only attempt the creation of this dark brew if you are truly prepared to step through the precipices of this universe and into another. Somewhere darker. Before I get to the recipe itself, it is probably best I chronicle my discovery.
A history: Last summer after a healthy reexamination of my budget, I decided I was spending far too much coffee. Not store bought coffee mind you, but rather individual cups purchased from coffee shops. I was up to at least 2 cups a day. Having recently come into possession of a multiple number of coffee makers, I found this expense silly and vowed to drink more at home. I would sample all the different varieties and brands the local stores could offer me, and yet found them lacking. "This coffee needs more of a punch," I said aloud to nobody after several cups, "more shazam, more vim, more... darkness!". I recall it came to me in a dream. Or maybe the shower, I do a lot of good thinking in the shower. Anyway, I realized that the simple act of rebrewing a coffee.. double brewing as it were, could enhance the flavor. Coffee brewed with coffee, it was so obvious! At the same time, the weather was growing increasingly warm outside so my research was slowing shifting over from development of hot coffee to the iced variety. It was under these conditions that the formula became clear to me.
Looking back now, it is so clear I was playing with forces I did not... forces I COULD not comprehend. What a fool I was, toying with coffee grounds like I was god himself. Alas, this is hindsight only. With this history and further warning, I shall now present to you the secrets of the black hole coffee. Why? I know not. Perhaps the coffee really has taken control at this point, and it is no longer my own soul at the keyboard. Or perhaps Friday snuck up on me, and I had no idea what to post about. Either way, I shall tease the foolhardy reader no more.
First and foremost, know that there is not one particular brand of coffee ground required to achieve a cup of black hole coffee. For certain, the darker blends will lend themselves to collapse much sooner, but with enoughrepetitions of the cycle described below, any variety will eventually achieve flavor densities required to form a dark singularity, and collapse inwards on themselves.
Step one: Brew a pot of coffee
Step two: Pour half of the brewed pot into ice cube trays. Place these in the freezer, and allow them to form "coffee cubes". Store the unused remaining coffee in the fridge, sealed tightly. Discard the used grounds from the machine.
Step three: Once the cubes are frozen, pour the remaining refrigerated coffee into the top of the coffee machine to use as the "water" for the next round of production. Put fresh grounds into the coffee machine. Prior to the actually brewing of this cup, take the iced coffee-cubes out of the freezer, and place them inside the coffee pot.
Step four: Brew the 2nd generation coffee directly onto these coffee cubes.
The purpose of step four requires a small discussion of the troubles facing iced coffee production. In the traditional method of brewing iced coffee, regular coffee is brewed and then has ice cubes added or simply refrigerated to achieve a "cold" temperature. Adding ice cubes will dilute the coffee, and allowing it to sit will cause it to "leak" some of it's aromatic flavors, as well as take on any surrounding tastes in the fridge. The second common method is to "cold brew" coffee, by using cold water in grounds instead of hot. The issue with cold-brewing is that many of the rich subtle flavors in coffee require heat to be properly extracted from the grounds. Try making a cup of cold water brewed coffee, and you'll see what I mean. It is lacking. Ah, but hot brew coffee directly onto ice cubes, here lies the trick! The hot water (or coffee in this case) will open up the grounds like we desire, but when the hot coffee drips directly onto the ice cubes, the flavors become frozen... locked in as it were. Thus, we have begun the accumulation of taste, rather than the dilution.
From here, it is a simple task of repeating steps two through four until the coffee-singularity is achieved. With each successive cycle, the newly brewed pot will become darker and richer. Various flavors and varieties can be interwoven together. Somewhere along this path, you will feel a change in the pot. You will know when it is done. Last summer, I believe I kept the same batch running for about 2 weeks, grinding through the cycle at least 25 times. Out of this womb of science and desperation, black hole coffee was born. Seriously, it's quite the drink. You will be changed. I have said my piece, now leave me to my own dark fate.
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Finally, something I have experience with. I did a lot of experimenting during my coffee house tenure, trying to breed more vicious strains of coffius negro, including recursive brewing. I also brought in some pros to aid in the research.
ReplyDeleteWe found we had much better results from less brewings using more grounds than more brewings with the normal amount of grounds. That is, if you're ultimately going to brew 20 normal cups of grounds worth, you can do 20 brews like you did, or, say, 10 brews, using the same amount of water as with 20, but with twice the grounds each time.
One issue is that every time you reheat coffee, it cooks a little more. After a certain point, brewed coffee gives off bitter tannins if it is continued to be heated. Tannins, you know, like for turning skin into leather. Your also refiltering every run through as well, so those hard earned oils are getting trapped in depleted grounds, filters, and (I'd imagine) the water reservoir of your coffee maker. I did all of mine hand poured, so I'm not certain of the effects it can have on machines.
On a final note, while a uber-dark cup of coffee can be delicious, bear in mind a french roast usually has 10-15% less caffeine than something really light, like a breakfast blend. After many, many brews, you could be looking at a sizable difference. Of course, we all know light brews suck, so finding a good combination of flavor and oomf is up to the tastes of the individual. And flavor imperfections are more noticeable iced, so you'd have your work cut out for you.
You raise some good points. I must confess most of my research focused on improving the coffee cubes, as I saw them the true secret to iced coffee supremacy. My goal being to somehow sublimate the frozen water out, leaving behind a much denser coffee cube. True enough, leaving them in the freezer for extended periods of time would cause the cubes to achieve an almost "tacky" external texture. Adding a couple to even a 1st generation pot would significantly enhance it's flavor. Also, drinking coffee with chemical goggles on is pretty fun.
ReplyDeleteThese "forces I COULD not comprehend" are neatly outlined in most entry level trasport or unit operations books. Its called a leaching or liquid-solid extraction. You'll reach a saturation point so no more extraction will occur. "Rebrewing" is also a bad idea since you'll burn up some of the extracted ingredients. I'm guessing your "black hole coffee" tastes like a pigs ass. I'll be sticking with my Extra Tall Americanos regardless of the price.
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