Freeze Rays are Uncooperative

So, I'm sitting here in a small coffee shop somewhere in the middle of Massachusetts, and I can't help but ponder the many trials and tribulations a real world mad scientist would have to deal with. There are many of you out there that were probably somewhat frustrated in your current jobs, and have probably been considering a move into the evil super science field. It certainly is an exciting field to be involved with. You find plenty of challenging applications for your personal creativity, there is plenty of flex time, as well as a chance to become supreme ruler of the globe. But hold on a minute, before you go off recruiting an army of minions and a 2nd in command who has a penitent for bowler hats, there are a few aspects of mad scientistry you might not have considered.

Labor: Although at the start of your operations, you will find yourself constantly having to recruit new henchmen as your current stock are constantly depleted by the worlds security agencies, freelancing heroes, and escaped lab experiments, with time this issue can be eased by the introduction of cloning baths. Labor issues themselves rarely come up as the same overly elaborate death mechanisms you will be employing against the worlds do-gooders also have a tendency to swiftly smooth out any union issues (if coupled with concessions on dental, anyway).

Freeze Rays: It's so hard to get a freeze ray actually working how you want it to. The Heisenberg uncertainty principle prevents a system achieving sufficiently low temperatures AND having accurate targeting protocols. This isn't meant to discourage budding young evil super scientists from experimenting with liquid hydrogen and (when the finances are right) liquid helium, as both can be fun and exciting centerpieces in any sinister plan. Just take my advice, and leave any sort of "ray" technology on the warmer side of super science.

Dating: Don't date your minions. BELIEVE ME, this can only lead to awkward dinner conversations. I mean really, after a hulking death machine you had just laying around in storage somehow wakes up and tears apart half your manpower (and most of your significant others coworkers) they are going to start asking why you even keep such phenomenally unstoppable engines of doom just laying around, and why don't you just throw them out? Nag, nag, nag.

Evil Pets: Do you have any known animal allergies? Most of your fellow mad scientists are going to have evil kitty cats, so any sort of evil conferences you hold are likely to be abundant in evil long hair cats. Do you really want to be sneezing and blowing your nose while you unveil your latest plan for world domination? Also, you think litter boxes from regular cats are bad, wait till you get a whiff of a sinister litter box.

Steam Pipes: These do not need to be run down every single corridor in your base. Popular films would have you believe otherwise. It's simply poor design.

Note: This was all ACTUALLY composed last Friday, but for some reason I never posted it. Such is the oddness of end of summer, start of school again time. To address Guy's concerns, we shall have a bit of a "rebuilding" coming up soon, once everyone is settled back into a post-summer schedule. More info coming on my next post...