Gee, internet, thanks.

I've got nothing this week. I consulted the internet for some random, thought provoking ideas, and lo, she delivered... or perhaps miscarried. The internet is simultaneously one of the best and one of the worst things to ever happen. Today's topic... would you exchange your genitalia for a third, fully functional arm with hand *in its place*?

Best I can figure, this needs a pro/con list, and then I'll make a final judgment.

CONS:

Umm, you'd have no genitals. Both sexes would still have a urethra at the base of the arm, slightly anterior to the anus. That means you'll be sitting to pee, males, and you can forget about ever writing your name in the snow (though you may be too busy owning at snowball fights to care).

A lack of genitalia also makes sex not a lot of fun - at least nothing conventional. And hopefully this choice is to be made after the ages of 13-17 are out of the way; idle hands and all that.

A lot of simple, everyday objects we take for granted would need some special modifications, like bicycle seats... or pants.

People may occasionally look at you funny.

Looking even more awkward when you drop something and almost catch it five or six times before it hits the floor.

PROS:

You'd be better at practically everything that doesn't involve sex, playing the piano, juggling, boxing, picking berries, rock climbing, etc. etc.

New weapon fighting combinations like two knives and a pistol, a sniper rifle and a katana, or three pairs of nunchuks.

Not having to make a trip back to the car to get those last two grocery bags you just couldn't grab on the first trip.

While your own sexual gratification may suffer greatly, you are practically a small walking orgy when it comes to pleasuring your partner(s)(es). Not to mention the potential for massive post-coital cuddling.

You can fix your wedgie without anyone else being the wiser.

The potential for *amazing* practical jokes, sucker punches, pick-pocketing, or getting fresh with your waiter/waitress or a pretty girl/buff dude on the subway.

The capacity to give the most gratifying triple-threat middle-finger extravaganza to show the full 150% of a normal person's rage and contempt for your adversary.

VERDICT:

Over the years, I've become pretty close with my genitals, but at the same time, they've also gotten me into a lot of trouble. It seems that all of my reasons for keeping them are pretty selfish and often petty. On the other side of the scale, I'd be awesome at things people just aren't supposed to be, like playing the guitar and drums for Rock Band by myself at the same time. I wouldn't be able to get laid anymore, but if I could, that Rock Band bit would certainly do it. I'd say the adventure alone would be worth it - and maybe I could become a famous bartender or sushi chef or three card monte swindler, or something equally perfect for someone of my new found dexterity.

What you monkeys decide is up to you...