Lets face it, news outlets in the US have officially jumped the shark. This has been happening for quite some time, (And it happened in the UK decades ago) but it seems to be growing at a breakneck pace the last few years. The predictability of news coverage is laughable to say the least. When I was back in the US last week, much to my dismay, so was the swine flu. I was not jealous that the swine flu received more attention than me, in fact, I was hoping to go under the radar as much as possible. Seeing this media frenzy really got me thinking about how angry I am at the quality of news we Americans are provided with and has thus prompted me to provide you the people with... well... more of the same only different.
My first and foremost topic will of course be that of the swine flu. I guess when I was on the plane they decided to change the name to A-flu or something of the sort but that's just putting lipstick on a pig. (I know, I know, I went there) Seriously, however, what in the hell is going on? I was in the airport watching CNN World and I thought for a moment that Ebola had been unleashed upon North America. I couldn't hear any of the conversations taking place but I was starting to think that I would get off the plane to find bodies in the street. Much to my surprise, the only outbreak I noticed when I got out of the airport was that of Japanese cars on the highways. Different story, different time. The radio was crammed with people giving speeches about the swine flu, the newspapers were headlined with swine flu, the only thing really lacking from this outbreak were people with swine flu. By the time I had left over 1000 people had been admitted to hospitals with the swine flu! OMG! I assume that this many people in the same time frame had also checked into hospitals because they pooped a living insect. Don't they realize that fear mongering is only cool when you are smoking? (Unless of course you are the president... oh yeah, never mind.) Fortunately for all of our souls it appears that the A-flu is actually more of a E-flu or maybe even an I-flu. Leave it to the media, however, to squeeze water from a stone. Latest reports are that a long time ago there was another flu that was not a very big deal but then, once it got done with summer vacation and back to school shopping for the latest fashions at Kohls, it killed the starting quarterback, knocked up the head cheerleader, and punched the cool teacher in her oven. Yes, the A-flu has a high school drama "mark my words, I will show you all" attitude and we needed to know about it because there are not enough young, beautiful, white girls missing to fill a one hour time slot.
Besides fear mongering, the news also is getting out of hand with celebrity happenings. True, most celebrities are chalk full of intelligent information and insightful political views, but I really don't give a damn about Madonna adopting Sudan. I am a little torn about who to point a non-blinged finger at: the news or the viewers on this one. It's a little bit of chicken-and-the-egg if you ask me. Regardless, it's ridiculous that so many people have such unfulfilled lives that they need to buy a newspaper to see pictures of some stupid kid with a stupid name. The real story should be how the kid will be forced to suffer with parents that think it's a crime to eat a fish or even worse, be forced to under go electronic shock therapy to relieve their soul from the wrath of Xenu. Those of us who are old enough to recall when Princess Diana died (Every local channel broke away from normal broadcasting at my house during a tornado warning, so I was especially moved by this.) also recall thinking how fricking ridiculous it was that her car was actually being chased by... pirates? pedophiles? snakes? Nope, cameramen. I recall thinking, "why in the hell were they chasing her car? Who gives a damn if she was out on a date? Why don't I know if the tornado is going to hit my house?" I understand there is nothing to do in England but they really need to find some hobbies. Quit dreaming about living other peoples lives and try living your own, who knows, maybe it will be enjoyable.
My final rant about news outlets is that about twisting the words of what people actually say. Good grief, this is annoying! Lucky for the news most people actually do not think, so they get little rebuttal in what they report. I don't remember how long ago it was but I do recall the Pope taking a lot of slack about a comment he made about AIDS and condoms. The Pope, a man sworn to celibacy, actually had the audacity to say that condoms promoted the spread of AIDS. Holy piss did this get him into a heap of trouble. What kind of an ignorant man would say such a thing when condoms are the second best protection around for any STD? Well, that would be the man who is trying to promote the best protection around for STD's: abstinence. The guy didn't say that condoms give people AIDS. He said that they are promoting the spread of AIDS. How can that be? Well, fact is, there are a lot of people in the world who just can't afford an education. They live in slums and share watering holes with others. Their day is spent finding food and trying not to get shot. Suddenly, Bono shows up with a container of rubbers and says, here, use this, it will protect you from AIDS. Now, we have a population equipped with carnal instinct and Trojans, but know nothing about disease. When you enable people with a "no worries" attitude they will indefinitely go ape shit until, well, there are worries.
I understand that these three topics only touch the surface on how news it making all of us dumber and more frightened every day, but these are the first three topics I thought about. My fourth would have been the convenient "How your children will die in your backyard" stories that always seem to be conjured up whenever there is none of the above to smear across the screen. If kids don't learn that falling and sharp objects hurt, how the hell are they supposed to survive? These kids are going to go reverse- double backward- ape shit when they get away from their parents and will end up getting taken out by a squirrel.
Thisisafakename
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I think you are right about the chicken and egg issue. Part of the problem, I believe, is that the news is a part of the larger commercial media (they have to sell advertising time too, just like American Idolatry or Dancing With the Washed-Up Stars). This means they are beholden to corporate interests to make their "news" as entertaining as possible and thus increase the monetary demand for this ad. time. There is a serious conflict of interest here, and our understanding of what is truly happening in our world is suffering as a result. Thanks for articulating this better than I could.
ReplyDeleteThese "news" agencies are businesses. They are in the business of selling commercials.
ReplyDeleteIs something commonly found in your backyard about to rape your dog and eat your children? Found out at 10!
I have no idea who started it, but it's been an escalating arms race of sensationalism for quite a while now. I won't even try to list examples, because I'd rather not spend that much time thinking about Hannity or Olbermann or that lovable little psychopath Glen Beck. To be fair, I think Glen Beck might be trolling us. Nobody could be that insane. I just have too much faith in humanity to think Glen Beck is being sincere. I'm sure some day soon he'll pull off the mask and it'll turn out to be Andy Kaufman.
Granted, NPR is a bit better, but I'm sick of their conservative bias.