Musings of a bicyle ride

Good evening fellow monks of E. This post was composed in my head as I was cycling home today. I will now try and record it for you, to the best of my recollection. Sometimes it would be nice to have a typewriter inside one's head, but then only button up shirts could be worn.

Whenever someone has a cat on a leash, I cannot help but think "that person right there... nobody should ever listen to his/her advice about anything ever". You see fellow monks, if you do find yourself in a situation where someone hands you a leash and a cat (separate), the correct response is to.

1.) pet the cat (if it is a nice cat).

2.) hit the person who gave you the leash, in the face, with the leash.

3.) repeat

Note that, if you happen to be allergic to cats or even just uncomfortable with them, please feel free to skip the first step.

Cats are many things to many people. Sometimes they are pets, sometimes obsessions, sometimes annoyances, and sometimes tiny loving friends. Cats cannot be on leashes. They are not interested in this situation, why are you? He does not like it. He wants to go back in the house, and at this point he is fully entitled to poop in your shoe.

----------o----------

Note to girl who has become aware of my ever advancing presence on a bicycle.

Dear Girl,
I am pleased you are now aware of me. I was worried you might not become conscious of my existence until I had egressed further upon you, elevating the possibility of a collision between us. Girl, I am sure you have many positive attributes, and I mean no offense by this, but I am not interesting in colliding with you. So yes, while I am pleased at our collective recognition of each others existence in the world and sidewalk, I am happy to give you a simple smile as we pass each other by. I wish upon you only prosperity and health. You will know, when I smile at you as we pass, that you are being wished prosperity. You will know, when I don't run you over as we pass, that you are being wished health.

See, Girl, we really don't need to bring shouting into this. Don't get me wrong, I am pleased to meet you as well. Also, thank you for announcing my arrival to the girls around you, but I assure you, they were already aware of my existence. That's what the whole "grabbing you and pulling you out of the way" thing was about. It's a little something your compatriots and I worked out. You have good friends, keep them close. Good friends are hard to come by Girl. More so for some of us. Keep them close.

No, Girl, we won't be high fiving each other. I hope you are not emotionally wounded by this, but if you look closely Girl, you will see I am riding a bike. It would be quite uncomfortable, for both of us really, to achieve an impromptu high five at this juncture. Please do not be disappointed by this Girl. Trust me that this is the right decision. Your stumbling tells me you shall likely receive plenty of high fives later tonight. I have such high hopes for you Girl. I ask that you support me on this "non-high-fiving" policy, Girl. I need your support. I cannot "not high-five" without you Girl. I cannot, gracefully, anyway.


God speed Girl. Dare to dream. Reach for the stars. Don't sleep on your stomach tonight.

Farewell, Girl.
Farewell.