This post deals with adult issues, but it's not that explicit. Oops, lost your attention.
When I was a kid, I remember worrying that sexuality was going to go out of style before I got the chance to get laid. I saw this as a real conceivable threat. My teevee box would tell me stories about test tube babies and AIDS. I figured it was only a matter of time before nobody even bothered anymore. Too dangerous! Brother, was I ever wrong.
Skip ahead fifteen or twenty years, and here we are. AIDS is still pretty bad, but if you are rich, it's not such a rough thing. Sure, it's ravaging Africa, but if there is one thing I can take away from all those years of teevee, it's that Africa is far away and they don't even have a lot of oil, so it's not our problem. Plus, I think the band U2 is taking care of things over there. Celebrities will adopt the cuter children. Occasionally, we shall come together as a society to comment on how fast people from Kenya can run. We shall give them little medals. We shall be amazed that they can do so much with such inexpensive shoes.
But back to sex. Yea, I think it's still pretty fashionable. Turns out the feminists didn't kill it. Neither did the church. The porn industry is doing well, but artistically speaking, I feel they've painted themselves into a corner. There is, I suppose, only so much one can do with flesh tones and high heels.
Test tube babies are out there, yet everyone seems to prefer reproducing the old fashion way. We still aren't allowed to show nipples on our old friend the teevee (well, woman nipples anyway), but pretty much everything else is alright. *shudder* nipples *shudder*. Terrifying stuff!
For something else entirely, here's a picture of my buddy Darwin (he lives on my desk) begging for a grape.
He was successful.
Sex... is retarded. While I'd feel justified leaving it at that, I'll elaborate for the sake of this brandy.
ReplyDeleteImagine if *every time* you wanted to drive your car, you had to put gas, oil, brake fluid, transmission fluid, and wiper fluid in, let it run for a half an hour before you drove it, and only got to drive it for half an hour at a time. Ridiculous, right?
But we're willing to do oh-so-much more to have sex. It's the most inefficient system imaginable. I can't think of a single less-significant thing that we devote so much time, thought, effort, and resources to - add up the cost of all of your nice clothes, jewelry, personal hygiene products, meals on dates, coffee on dates, desserts, movie tickets, theater tickets, booze, etc., etc. Now the time you've invested in meeting potential new dates, emails, phone calls, dates, and then maybe working out, learning things like etiquette, dance, and humorous anecdotes you learned to help your dates go well and/or impress your date. And these are just the obvious surface costs.
And for what? How is that sex treating you six months later? Does it look good up on your shelf? Did it raise your credit rating? Are you a better writer now? Perhaps you no longer experience stress or you're a better listener to your friends? No? Nothing at all?
Think of how good of a skateboarder you'd be now if you had spent all that time and money on practicing and buying better gear. And I'd bet good money Tony Hawk has a lot more sex than any of us do.