I'm going to make some bold claims:
I'm smarter than 93% of the people around me.
I can beat 99% of the people around me in a sword fight.
I'm a better driver than 80% of the people around me.
I'm better in bed than 92.47% of the people around me.
I'm better than 7% of the people around me at contributing to a blog.
I can chug more of a gallon of milk than 81% of the people around me.
I spend more time on the internet than 45% of the people around me.
Alright, monkeys, what are your bold claims?
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Guy, don't sell yourself short. If you are writing for this blog, it is because intelligent people find you intelligent. Therefore, I say your are smarter than 99% of the people out there. However, it's a big curve, and the 99.75 and above probably blow us out of the water. However, they probably fail at mundane tasks like making out or personal hygiene/fitness. I will make the bold presumption that you and I are smarter than 99% of the people out there. If you don't believe this, talk to 100 people this week outside of work. You will understand.
ReplyDeleteYour 99% sword fighting raises an eyebrow. To claim this, you must have some experience. So I will not doubt you. I will say that I can beat 99.9% of the people out there in shooting... mostly because I have a state championship under my belt. As far as driving goes... I think you live in the midwest, so up that to 97%. If you are a good driver in the midwest, you are in an elite group. Just go south and try not to have a stroke and you will understand what I am talking about. Having never been in an accident or gotten a ticket and consistently using blinkers/being one of the faster vehicles, I can confidently say I am 99%. However, I don't drive anymore due to being in Thisisafakecountry, so maybe I have slipped.
Claiming to be better than 92.47 percent of people in bed seems bold, but then again, it's all in perspective. If you can make your current partner happy, it's all aces. Shit happens, so you have fallen behind on the blog. I missed a post because I was spending a night thinking with my other end. You are a lot better than K. Solomon who only has life altering excuses. However, I am sure he is brewing and simmering something fantastic. You can probably beat me on the milk chugging, but I can tell you, in my prime, I was a weapon when it came to binge drinking. The side effects were great times and no recollection of what happened, but it was always awesome. I can safely say that I am more fun to get shitfaced with than 99.9% of the people in this world. I have written proof of my antics in a book somewhere. When I write my autobiography, you will all understand.
Thisisafakename. You can take your thisisafakedig against me and shove it up your ass.
ReplyDeleteAs for bold claims put this in your pipe and smoke it. I consider myself to be the only person capable of doing what needs to be done, correctly, at all moments of all days. Do you know what a burden that is? Do you? I doubt it. I have to be better than 100% of people at infinite list of skillz all the time.