Fireworks. No matter if you have to cross state lines to buy them, make them in a chemistry class, or even get your thumb blasted off due to them, you have to admit they are pretty magical. They are LOUD, they are DIRTY, they are DANGEROUS, people turn to STARE when they start going off... fireworks are like really great sex. See, I too just realized that, so let's both just take a moment to reflect on it.
“Oooooh” says the crowd of families looking on from their lawn chairs. “Aaaaaah”
I think you could make a pretty convincing case that the purest form of science and engineering only exists when it is being directly applied to fireworks. Chemistry for the colors. Physics for the trajectories. Civil engineering for the... city permits.
And what are you supposed to do when you are watching fireworks? Well, nothing but watch them obviously. But rather, how does one prepare for the ritual? By cooking delicious things over open flame. Grilling out, baby! The focus should really be on the fireworks, so you don't want to have any technology around that is much more advanced than long fuses. It would ruin them moment. Loincloths are encouraged, but not required.
But what is the message fireworks send? I understand it is generally a positive one. Nobody says “Dude, I'm sorry about your dog getting hit by that car. That really sucks. Here are some M-80's. Feel better.” Maybe we should though. A somber funeral procession, followed shortly thereafter by a display high above, full of color and sound and fury! They shall say with hushed breath, “he died as he lived... exploding...”
The viking burials were, as I understand it, somewhat closer to my vision of a proper way to commiserate the passing of ones mortal flame. Plus, no clumsy cemeteries using up all your municipal areas parks, and I know you civil engineers will get a kick out of more municipal areas!
Does anybody have any romantic stories about fireworks? Anyones first kiss happen beneath skies adorned with rings red strontium, stars in bright yellow sodium, or streaks of blue copper halides? I had better hope not! What were you doing making googley eyes at each other while there were fireworks going on? Have you no sense of priorities. She's still gonna be there AFTER the explosions have stopped. Trust me, girls come and go, but fireworks are awesome all the time.
Nothing romantic, but I did sit through TWO AND A HALF HOURS of fireworks during a Japanese fireworks festival. Japanese people love festivals, and they love fireworks, so it seems only natural that they should spend half of their national budget on a fireworks display. The fireworks made pictures of stuff, exploded to the beat of a song, and all sorts of other fun things. I happened to have gotten there almost an hour before they started, just through poor trip planning... there was nowhere left to sit. Hundreds (maybe 1000+) of people had shown up well before me, many dresses in yukata, lighter summer kimonos, to lay out blankets, eat family picnics, and just dang have fun. I'm pretty sure I was the only white dude - in the city that would have meant nothing, but out in the farmland areas, it meant everyone I came within five feat of would say hi to me, except little kids, they'd just stare.
ReplyDeletetssssssssssssss.... POOOOOOOH!!!